Did you know for the WHOLE month of August it’s Anal Sex Month?

No, I didn’t make this up! I don’t know who did but I’m glad they thought so highly of my booty to devote an entire month to its pleasure!

Instead of rattling off a bunch of tips for Anal Sex, I went to the people (social media) and asked- What questions have you always wanted to know about anal sex? And the questions came on in! The the Mr and I answered them live on our show #HumpdaywiththeHarts. Click on our YouTube channel to see us answer all of the below questions, and as usual act a fool doing it lol. Or stay right here and read my quick answers.

My boyfriend is very agressive in his lovemaking. I would love to give him anal but I’m afraid he might go ham in my booty. What steps could I get to calm him down or build up enoughtrust to let him back there?

Good question! Sometimes guys get a lil excited when they’re about to get some anal action. If he’s one that can go for a round two it might be helpful to let him get that first orgasm out. He could be a little more calm and not go HAM in there, like you’re nervous about.

Secondly and most importantly is for YOU to be in charge of what happens during anal sex. Let your partner know that you’re going to take control. They don’t have to do a thang. Just lay there with their erect penis or dildo and you are going to take it from there. See, doing this you get to control exactly how, what, where, when, and why it happens. You can start off super slow, taking each centimeter in at a time. You can speed it up when you’re ready. You can stop when you’re ready. The ball is in your court!

Why do people want to have anal sex?

I think peeople want to have anal sex for a whole bunch of reasons

  1. It’s a little taboo. Which makes it more exciting for some.
  2. For vulva owners it leads to an easier way to stimulate their G-spot. The angle of entry, anally, can be a lot more beneficial for the coveted full body orgasm produced from stimulating the G-spot than can be reached vaginally.
  3. It can be a very intimate and vulnerable expierience with your partner. I know for me, if I let you penetrate me in my booty I trust you A LOT!!!
  4. For some penis owners they report a tighter feel anally than vaginally with their female partners.
  5. For people born male there’s this thing called the prostate that lives up in the anal canal and when stimulated can produce a deeper orgasm than one produced from penis stimulation.
  6. And more……but there’s some to start you off lol

Should I skip eating for the entire day and do an enema beforehand? I’m  not trying to be humiliated by making a mess. It seems like there’s too much prepwork for it to be worth it.

Well, you can prep or not prep. It’s totally up to you. I personally do not prep. I feel like we’re both adults and we both know poop comes out from there and if you’re digging around all up in my butt there’s a chance a little might surface. Hopefully we can laugh about it, clean it up, and go back to what we were doing.

BUT if you’d like to prep, an easy way to do so is with an anal douche. This Anal Douche is comfy and simple. Just fill up with a little warm water, insert anally and keep flushing until the water runs clear. This one has a handy separate water container so you can leave the tube the water shoots up inyour butt and just pull the bottom container off to refill the water and do more flushes. Easy peasy.

All of the anal plugs I’ve tried are two big. What else can I try?

In our anal category my favorite small plug is the Red Rose Stainless Steel Anal Plug. It’s pretty small and since it’s made out of steel it’s a breeze to clean. Well, we recently started carrying an EVEN SMALLER plug. I’d go with the Petite Starter Anal Plug for something super entry level. This one is made out of silicone, also a great material for easy cleanup, and only .75 inches wide.

You can also just use your fingers. If you’re squeemish you could always throw on a plastic glove if you don’t want the chance of getting poop on your fingers.

How do you get around the painful sensation in the beginning?

The number one question!! Let me start by saying- Anal Sex shouldn’t hurt. Could it be a little unconfortable when you’re first starting out and trying new things, figuring out what your perfect anal go-tos are? Sure. But it should not hurt. Here are the things that I do to make sure I’m able to enjoy my anal pleasure.

  1. Start off exploring anal SOLO! Yes, you can have anal sex by yourself. When you’re by yourself you can relax and not worry about your partner’s actions or soon to be actions. You can take the time to see what type of movements, size, speed, positions, etc are going to be most comfortable and pleasurable for you. Then when the time comes you can now give instructions on what needs to happen so that you are pleasured
  2. Lube
  3. Lube
  4. Lube
  5. You get the point…..lube! Unlike vaginas, butts do not produce their own lubrication. You want everything to be FRICTION FREE all up in there. It’s going to make everything more comfortable and it’s safer. If there’s too much friction you can start getting small micro tears in the lining of your anus, providing an easy entry point for bacteria and STIs. Below are my favorite lubes for anal sex:
  • Silicone lube- lasts a long time making it a far better choice than water-based lube. You will have to reapply all lubes if you’re having marathon anal BUT you’ll have to reapply silicone lube far less since it’s not going to be absorbed into the body like water-based lube. My favorite is Uberlube.
  • Hybrid lube- Some peope call it the best of both worlds. My favorite is Naked Slik. Great for people that like their lube to feel a little more like natural lubrication but still want it to last longer than water-based lube.
  • CBD Lube- perfect for anal sex. CBD lube helps with anxiety before sex, pain during intercourse, and increases pleasure. Until this month I never even thought about how perfect it is for anal sex! We carry two kinds- Slick which is a silicone lubricant and Slide which is an oil-based lubricant that doubles as a massage oil. Booty massages anyone? Here’s an article explaining CBD lube in further detail. CBD Lube and Sex- Get with it! 

6. I like to be super aroused! Having a clitoral orgasm first to relax me and get in me in the mood is super helpful when it comes to anal sex. Your            arousal go to might be dirty talk, watchingh porn with your partner, reading some steamy erotica beforehand, it can be anything!

7. I explained above about you being in control of your booty play session. That will help relax you also.

If you have any other questions for me about anal sex make sure you ask them here in the comments and I’ll reply!!

And check out our ANAL TOY section on the site and see what new things you can play with in time for Anal August!!


2 thoughts on “Booty Play: Anal Sex Basics

    • Shani Hart says:

      Hi Stephanie!! I would highly suggest you being in control of the action. Experiment by finding the right position and angle so that it’s pleasurable. Let him know you’re going to be in control, he can sit back and enjoy the ride.

      Also don’t be upset if anal isn’t your thing. It’s not everybody’s thing and maybe your body and his body *could* not be pleasing to you and that’s OK! There’s tons of other fun sexy things to do 🙂

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