You’ve heard this 50-leven times already…
This. Has. Been. A. Year. Last thing I want you to do is add anything else to possibly jack up your sex life even more.
Stress Kills Desire. Anxiety kills desire. Depression kills desire. These “things” tend to rear their ugly heads for some at a higher level around the holidays.
What are some of the common stressors for couples that come with the holidays?
- Buying gifts and all that come with getting the perfect gift for your special person. The financial woes that accompany gift giving. Did you over spend? Do you think they can tell I picked this up on the side of the road out of someone’s trunk on the way home? There’s even extra pressure with shipping issues this year. If you haven’t purchased it online by now you could be short.
- The dayum in-laws. You could be lucky and like your partner’s family. Not everyone is so lucky. Family drama can be super stressful, even if you only have to deal with them until they get drunk and pass out after dinner.
- Pressure to be all the things to all of your families. You might be stretching yourself too thin trying to see everyone and your momma for the holidays.
- Feelings of loss. The holidays can be really tough for some, especially after losing a loved one that made this time so special.
- SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Have you ever noticed when the days are shorter, the darkness is longer, and it gets colder your mood changes with the seasons? It’s a real thing that plays a part with being down this time of the year.
Now that I have sufficiently made you feel bad. (I’m sorry) Lets get into some ways you can kick all that stuff to the curb, as much as possible, so we can get things shakin in the bedroom.
Tips on how to have less holiday stress so you can have more sex
Extended Family Issues
You might be safe this year on the family issues if the stress comes from being pulled in a million directions to make your rounds or dealing with your partner’s family. Here in the DMV area you can only have 10 people max at gatherings and most people I know are keeping things super low key. So you don’t have to worry about your monster-n-law or your sister’s bad ass kids this year. Tell them you’re staying safe and staying in the house. I mean, it’s true. And you get away guilt free.
If you have the stress of being away from your family and the feeling of isolation from loved ones have you down you can organize a virtual dinner party for the holidays. Set up a Zoom link, plan out some games you can play with each other, and make it a whole event. You’re only limited by your imagination and Wifi connection.
Yes, everything always boils down to communication in relations and around the holidays is no different. Sit down and ask your partner some questions. What are the things that usually stress you out around the holidays? Are there any different things you’re dealing with this year that are new that you want to talk about? Just showing that you care and giving your partner a chance to get things off their chest could eliminate some of the stress between you two. Don’t forget to share your thoughts also.
Let’s eliminate some of the financial worries by setting a budget. You might even go as far as saying- Let’s have a no gifts year. I’m concentrating on experiences instead of things this year. You’ll lose one of those ear buds and Sony will come out with a newer PlayStation version that will replace the one you bought, but memories last forever. That sounded cheesy, but it’s true.
Have some Fun together
Speaking of memories, the ones I remember the most vividly are the ones that involve laughter and smiles. Plan nights in the house where you dance in the middle of the living room like you were at your favorite club, Facetime each other from different rooms in the house (clothing optional), pull out your favorite games, whatever is going to have you laughing and having a great time. This will help with SAD by elevating your mood. I swear I’m going to dig out my Wi game and play some bowling. First person to win 3 games has to…
Well, that’s a secret. I can’t tell y’all everything! lol
Make Intimacy a Priority
I know we’re concentrating on lowering factors surrounding the holidays that cause stress so we can get to the sex but intimacy is more than just sex. It’s the part in a relationship, for me, that leads to being my whole sexual sex. It’s like a warm imaginary blanket that covers me in permission to be vulnerable. The feeling of being listened to and heard. It feels like a 1990s R&B song. It comes with communication, which we talked about earlier. Closeness, which you probably will feel after those evenings of having fun and now we need a lil sensual nudge to top it off.
When I’m stuck on introducing new ways to embark on sensual play couple’s intimacy games are always clutch. You can find a bunch HERE. They can be as simple as a pair of dice with body parts and sexy verbs on them or a whole sexy board game. Remember they can surely end up in sex but learning more about your partner intimately can be equally sexy. Don’t side eye me, it can!
Another way could be to give or receive a sensual massage. I love exploring my partner’s body with my CBD Massage Oil. This massage oil is made with all-natural CBD along with a combination of soothing oils which nourish and repair skin while working through to relax muscles and relieve holiday stress!
Be creative and brainstorm with you partner on things they would like to introduce into your sexual play repertoire.
Expectations are the worst! And they’re not fair to your partner. In your head you have this whole big ole scenario played out at how you want the holidays to go down. And then when it doesn’t happen that way you’re disappointed. Ugh.
Everything IS NOT going to be perfect. This year can we agree you aim for “good enough” and not perfection? I promise you it will help with the stress of this time, and maybe get you laid more. lol
Take some time for Self Care
Y’all not gonna be good if you’re not good. Figure out some things you need to do for you to stress relief. It’s a personal thing.
Let me know if you have any other suggestions for beating the holiday blues so you can have mo sex!