What if you don’t have a #WAP?
First, in case you haven’t heard my new anthem by Cardi B and Meg the stallion, #WAP, Wet Ass Pussy. As soon as I heard the song I yelled out my club shout “AYYYYYYYE”!! The intro, a throwback to “There’s some hoes in this house” just set the scene. The rest perfectly played out my inner sex kitten when I’m feeling myself. Then, when I saw the video I twerked my little cakes away. It was EVERYTHING for me. But, it got a lot of backlash. I get some people just don’t like the song, that’s a thing. What I don’t get is people judging the women that DO like it or love it even. Why do we have to be trashy or immature to be able to love this song AND relate to it? Here’s a few of my favorite lyrics from the song:
“I said certified freak, seven days a week, Wet Ass Pussy, make that pullout game weak.”
“Hop on top, I wanna ride, I do a kegel while it’s inside, spit in my mouth, look in my eyes, this pussy is wet, come take a dive.”
Uhm…Hello? I do the kegel move too!! You gonna get this Snappa pussy!! LOL If you want to read all about doing your kegels, which have a host of benefits including better sex, read my article about that HERE.
Isn’t it funny how Black women are overly sexualized by everyone AND can’t openly be liberated in their sexuality? We’re supposed to love having sex with our partners but not actually LOVE sex? Hmmmm….that’s a whole nother discussion.
What I wanted to talk about today is vaginal moisture.
After I fully soaked in the song, I sat back and wondered if anyone felt any shame about the song. Particularly, the Wet Ass Pussy part. What if you don’t have a WAP every time you want to or feel you need to? I know I don’t. One of the main things that I do as a sex educator is letting couples and especially Black women know that they’re ok. Your body is ok. Your pussy is ok. And this is one of those times.
Sometimes I need a mop and a bucket for allll of my juices and sometimes I could sand wood with my dry ass pussy. You laugh but it’s true! LOL
There’s so many factors that go into vaginal moisture or lack there of.
Think about the last time you were shyt faced and tried to get it in. Chances are you weren’t at your wettest. How hydrated you are plays an important role in vaginal moisture. If your body is already starving for water, it’s hard to send it down to your vagina when you need it. Drinking water is necessary for healthy living anyway. So go ahead and drink a glass right now. Your pussy might thank you!
Many different medications affect hormone levels and could cause other issues that play a part in your vaginal moisture situation. Birth control pills, anti-depressants, antihistamines, asthma medications, and the list goes on and on. So if you think that your wetness levels are really taking a beating often check if the medications you’re taking could be the cause and see your doctor if necessary.
Your brain is your biggest sex organ. If you’re worried about things like family, work, or relationship woes your brain could be overwhelmed with those thoughts and not have enough bandwidth to work on your sexy time. I know with everything going on in the world today, I have had some of my most stressful moments since the beginning of this pandemic. It took me a while to get a good handle on my anxiety, that was on 1000 at one point. That significantly affected my desire for sex, how long it took me to become aroused, and ultimately my ability to get things wet down there. No mop and bucket needed!
Figuring out how you can get your stress levels down is great for sex and your overall health. Find your happy place. Something that relaxes you. Your self-care go to. It could be meditation, bath time, bike rides, or watching ratchet reality TV. Take time out to focus on you, what makes you happy, and what gives you a little wooosah in your everyday life.
Life changes that affect Hormone levels
The hormone estrogen plays a major role in vaginal wetness. Things like going into menopause, having a baby, becoming pregnant, and breastfeeding are examples of times when your estrogen levels can take a total nose dive. I’m going to throw in “the time of the month” here too. When you’re approaching your period estrogen levels ramp up, but if you don’t get pregnant during that time they drop down which can affect wetness. Also tampon use can soak up all your good juices down there leaving your pussy a little parched. I like to use a menstrual cup for a lot of reasons including preserving my vaginal wetness. The one I recommend is the Fun Cup, which I’ve had over a year and it’s still working.
Those are just a few of the few or the reasons you could be a little more dryer than usual, but don’t fret! There’s an awesome solution. LUBE!!!
I don’t know where the shame and stigma about lube came from. Lube makes sex better, whether you need it or not. I use lube EVERY time I have sex. It just increases the pleasure for me, overall. If you engage in penetrative sex, having everything moving in and out and back and forth with ease is what you want.
There are four main categories of lube:
- Water-based- your most commonly found lube. They are easy to clean up, readily found, and can be used with any type of condom or sex toy. Some of the cons are that they aren’t great for marathon sex since the body absorbs this type of lube and it’s not great for water play. My favorite right now is Sessions Water based because it’s a little thicker than most water based lubes. You can get it HERE.
- Silicone lube- (my favorite) It lasts a long time since it sits on top of the skin so it’s not absorbed. Great for water play and often leaves your skin feeling smooth. Some of the cons are they can be hard to get out of sheets, some people prefer a different texture of lube, and even though I use it with my silicone toys you’ll see warnings advising you not to. My favorite is Uberlube and you can get it HERE.
- Hybrid lube- this is going to be a combination of water-based lube and another lube, most commonly silicone. It usually has a milky or sperm like look to it, which a lot of people enjoy. I like to call it the best of both worlds. It provides a longer play time and also is easy to clean up after. My favorite hybrid is Sliquid Silk which you can get HERE.
- Oil-based lube- Think coconut oil or even olive oil. A lot of people love using oil based lubes because they are often all natural. One con about oil-based lubes are that they are not latex condom compatible, so keep that in mind. But the great thing is that they often double as a massage oil. My favorite is the CBD infused lubricant Slide from my own lube line. CBD has so many sex benefits and adding some slip and slide to your play time is just one. Read the full article I wrote about how my Lube line and CBD can elevate your sex game HERE. And of course cop one of my CBD lubes, because they’re awesome!
Hopefully if you were feeling down about your WAP, or lack there of, I gave you a big ole pussy hug which put some pep in your step. Now go grab yourself some lube AND a mop and bucket while you’re at it!!!!