Let’s be honest — in a world that’s constantly telling us to hustle, grind, stress, and survive, we all deserve a little pleasure. And not just the dinner-and-a-movie, cuddle-on-the-couch kind. We’re talking about solo satisfaction. That good ol’ quality time with you, yourself, and that toy you hide in the drawer next to the socks.
Yes, sis (and bro), we’re talking about masturbation — and May is the perfect time to celebrate it.
Wait… Masturbation Has a Month?
Yup. Since 1995, when a sex-positive toy shop in San Francisco kicked off the first-ever Masturbation Month, May has been all about taking self-love out of the shadows and into the spotlight. And honestly? It’s long overdue.
Because even though we’ve made strides in talking about sex and pleasure, masturbation still makes some folks clutch their pearls like you just moaned during Sunday service. 🙄
But the truth is, masturbation is natural, healthy, and actually really good for you. Like, doctor’s-note level good.
Benefits of Masturbation (Backed by Science & My Bedroom)
Let’s break it down with some real talk. Masturbation can:
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Relieve stress and anxiety
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Improve your mood (thanks, dopamine!)
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Help you sleep better
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Increase sexual awareness and confidence
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Strengthen pelvic floor muscles (hello, better orgasms!)
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Boost your immune system
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Teach you how to communicate your needs to a partner
Whew. Sounds like self-care to me.
Masturbation Is Not One-Size-Fits-All
Some folks go hard. Others take it slow. Some set the scene like it’s a movie: candles lit, playlist vibing, bath water running, rose petals optional. Others? They’re getting that O in under three minutes before the Uber Eats arrives.
Either way? It’s your body. Your rules.
Me? I’ve done it all. There are days when I need a full sensual experience — glass of wine, clean sheets, and a long date with my Caress. Then there are other times when the Rose toy taps in and handles business fast and furious. We love range. 🌈
Hands Are Great. But Toys? Whew…
Let’s not play ourselves. Sex toys are the MVPs of masturbation.
And before anybody rolls their eyes or assumes toys are just for people who “can’t get no satisfaction” — nah, baby. They’re for folks who want to take satisfaction to new levels.
Here are a few reasons to incorporate toys into your solo sessions:
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They help target specific pleasure zones (clit, G-spot, prostate, you name it)
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They can offer consistent stimulation (so you don’t get tired mid-session)
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They add variety and excitement to your routine
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Some can be used with a partner later (dual-purpose pleasure? Yes please.)
The Smooches #1
The Smooches #1 brings double the pleasure with kissing sensations and rumbly vibrations, all wrapped in luxe, body-loving silicone.
Beyond realism, BIG BOSS is shaped for pleasure. Its thick head boasts a pronounced ridge that just begs to be pulled along your G-spot, and its smooth shaft is lined with perfectly-placed veins for a light massage on the way in and out.
Sliquid H2O Water-Based Lube
What’s a solo date without a little glide? Safe for silicone toys and sensitive bodies, this clean, natural lube makes every stroke feel like silk.
Male Rose (For Him)
Penis-havers, don’t worry — we didn’t forget about you. This vibrating blowjob simulator’s advanced and extended sleeve feels better than a real mouth. (Yup. We said it.)
Lube Is Not Optional, It’s a Lifestyle
For the longest, I thought lube was just for men or for people with dryness. Sis… lube changed the game for me. Even with my favorite toys, adding a few drops of quality water-based lube took the experience from good to glorious.
And PSA: if your toys are made of silicone (most high-end ones are), always use water-based lube. Silicone-on-silicone will ruin your toy and your night.
Some of my go-tos:
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Sliquid H2O: All-natural, gentle, and super slick.
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Uberlube: Technically silicone-based, but incredible for external play and intercourse. Makes skin feel like velvet.
Can We Talk About Masturbating in Relationships?
Let’s be clear: masturbating while in a relationship is not cheating. It’s not disrespectful. It’s not weird. It’s not a threat.
It’s personal maintenance. Self-pleasure. Self-awareness.
But if you or your partner ever feel uncomfortable about it, talk it out. Use “I” statements. Try:
👉🏽 “I feel left out sometimes when you masturbate alone. Is there a way we can make it a shared experience?”
That can lead to mutual masturbation, which is honestly one of the sexiest, most vulnerable acts you can share.
Watching your partner pleasure themselves? Whew. That’s a front row seat to their fantasy. And it just might unlock some ideas for your next session together.
Final Thoughts: The Guilt-Free, Orgasm-Optional Celebration You Deserve
Whether you’re going solo, watching your partner, using toys, using hands, or just laying back and letting your imagination do the work — masturbation is for you.
It’s safe. It’s empowering. It’s pleasure on your own terms.
And honestly? With everything going on in the world, we need all the safe pleasure we can get.
So let’s end Masturbation May with a bang — literally. Make it your goal to:
✅ Try a new toy
✅ Light a few candles
✅ Explore a new fantasy
✅ And give yourself permission to feel everything
Because pleasure isn’t selfish. It’s sacred.
