Kegels, Control, and Why That Meme Wasn’t Lying
I saw this meme floating around social media and it made me bust out laughing. It said something along the lines of “a woman that can make her pussy contract is dangerous.”
Now listen…I immediately thought, a man definitely made this meme. LOL.
But jokes aside, it opened the door to a topic I actually love talking about and one that does not get nearly enough real education. Kegels.
You’ve probably heard of them. You may have even tried them. But are you doing them correctly? Do you know what they actually do? And do you understand the benefits beyond sex?
Let’s get into it.
What Kegels Actually Are (And What They Aren’t)
Kegel exercises involve contracting and relaxing your pelvic floor muscles. This is not about “tightening your vagina” or working your so-called “pussy muscles.” What you are really doing is strengthening the pelvic floor, a group of muscles that look like a hammock stretching from your pubic bone all the way back to your anus.
These muscles exist in people with vaginas and people with penises. So fellas, stay right here…this conversation is for you too.
The pelvic floor muscles play a huge role in supporting organs like the bladder, uterus, vagina, rectum, and prostate. They help with bladder control, bowel control, sexual function, and even lower back support.
Yes, sex is part of the conversation…but it’s not the only reason these muscles matter.
Why Pelvic Floor Health Is Bigger Than Sex
I used to associate pelvic floor muscles strictly with sex. And listen…I love sex. I love talking about sex. I love educating people about sex. But these muscles do a LOT more than enhance pleasure.
Pelvic floor weakness can lead to issues like urinary leakage, lower back pain, pelvic pain, and organ prolapse. And yes, vaginal prolapse is a real thing. That’s when pelvic organs shift and descend because they’re no longer properly supported.
It’s not cute. It’s not fun. And it’s absolutely something we want to prevent if possible.
Strengthening your pelvic floor is part of overall body care, especially as we age, after childbirth, or if we’ve put our bodies through physical stress over the years.
Back to the Fun Part…Sex and Orgasms
Now let’s circle back to why the meme exists in the first place.
The pelvic floor plays a major role in sexual pleasure and orgasm. An orgasm is essentially rhythmic spasms of these muscles. Stronger muscles mean stronger contractions, more sensation, and often more intense orgasms.
More control over tightening and relaxing also means more awareness of your body during sex. That can lead to better communication, better timing, and better experiences for everyone involved.
If stronger orgasms sound appealing, keep reading.
Why People Start Doing Kegels
People usually get curious about kegels for a few reasons.
Maybe you want better orgasms. Maybe someone told you that your “old azz” isn’t getting any younger and you should start now. LOL. Or maybe you’ve experienced changes after childbirth, weight fluctuations, or simply time doing what time does.
Pelvic floor muscles naturally weaken with age. Other contributing factors include pregnancy, childbirth, lifting heavy objects incorrectly, chronic straining while using the bathroom, and not maintaining a healthy weight.
Repeat after me. Let. Shit. Happen.
Straining constantly does your pelvic floor no favors.
When and Where to Do Kegels
I personally like doing my kegels lying down in bed. It’s part of my self-care and relaxation routine. But you can do them sitting in a firm chair, standing, or even casually while walking around Target pretending you don’t need anything.
No one will know. That’s the beauty of it.
Ways to Perform Kegels Correctly
There are several ways to make sure you’re engaging the correct muscles.
You can do kegels with no tools at all. Simply contract and release the pelvic floor muscles.
You can use your finger. Insert it about two inches into the vagina and gently contract. You should feel a lift and squeeze if you’re doing it correctly.
You can check the perineum. This works for people with vaginas and penises. Place a finger on the area between the genitals and the anus and gently contract. You’ll feel the muscle engage.
And then there are tools.
Why Tools Can Help (And Why I Like Them)
Using tools for kegel exercises can make things easier, more effective, and honestly…more motivating.
Tools respond to your body’s movement. As they shift, your muscles involuntarily engage to hold them in place. That means your body is doing the work even when your mind wanders.
Since you’re not typically aroused when inserting kegel tools, a good water-based lubricant like Sliquid H2O can make insertion more comfortable and reduce friction.
Kegel Tools Available at Hart’s Desires
At Hart’s Desires, we carry several kegel exercisers designed for comfort, progression, and effectiveness.
The Femintimate Pelvix Set is ideal for beginners or those rebuilding pelvic floor strength. It allows you to progress gradually, focusing on control rather than strain.
The Cherry Weighted Kegel Set is a great option for those ready to add gentle resistance. The weighted design encourages muscle engagement while still being approachable.
The Silky Smooth Pleasure Ben Wa Balls offer a more advanced option for users who want increased challenge. Their smooth finish makes them comfortable to use while requiring more muscular control.
If you’re new, always start with larger or lighter options and work your way up. Trust me…you do not want to be explaining to coworkers why mysterious silver balls rolled out of your pants at work. We’re not doing that.
How to Do Kegels Step by Step
Once you’ve chosen your method, it’s time to get to work.
Pull the muscles inward and upward toward your belly button. A helpful mental image is stopping yourself mid-stream when you suddenly see headlights while peeing somewhere you shouldn’t be. That muscle you squeeze is the one we’re targeting.
If you’re using your fingers, you’ll feel the contraction. If you’re using a tool, you’ll feel it lift slightly.
Breathe normally. Do not hold your breath. Keep your abs, thighs, and glutes relaxed. This is not the time for six-pack fantasies or twerk practice.
Hold the contraction for five to ten seconds.
Release completely. Take a deep breath and let everything relax.
Repeat ten times.
Work up to three sets of ten per day. Within a few weeks to a few months, you’ll start noticing increased strength, control, and awareness.
Kegels, Confidence, and Whole-Body Wellness
Strong pelvic floor muscles aren’t just about sex. They’re about confidence. They’re about body awareness. They’re about long-term health.
And yes…they can absolutely lead to better orgasms.
Shopping Local or Nationwide With Hart’s Desires
Whether you’re starting your kegel journey or upgrading your routine, Hart’s Desires makes it easy.
We offer same-day delivery in DC and PG County on qualifying orders placed before 5pm. Perfect for last-minute self-care or spontaneous pleasure.
Not local? No problem. We ship nationwide, so you can order online from anywhere and have your pleasure delivered discreetly to your door.
Let’s Talk
Pelvic floor health deserves real conversations without shame or confusion.
Have you tried kegels before? Are you using tools or going old-school? What questions do you still have?
Drop a comment or reach out. I love these conversations.
Now go out into the world and squeeze yourself to better health and better orgasms.
