The quarantine blues.
It feels like its been 50-leven days in the house so far. I can see some light at the end of the tunnel with some parts of the country opening back up but if you’re like me you’re probably STILL going to stay at home more than normal.
Since about the last week of March I’ve been in the house with him. It’s hard keeping the days of the weeks straight (I seriously just now had to think of what today was) and like a lot of other people quarantined with a partner, I’ve been a lil stressed out. I know one of my stress relievers is masturbation. Masturbation is, as always, a great libido booster, mood balancer, and releases all sorts of feel good hormones in your body that could help with the ‘Rona funk. I’m used to typically doing it when I’m all by myself and can get my personal swerve on in peace. But….what if your partner is always there in the house with you? You shouldn’t have to give up masturbation!
Here are 4 tips for your masturbation game while quarantined with bae!
1. Explain your need for self pleasure.
You are allowed to ask for alone time while in a relationship. There’s no rule that says since you’re in the house together all day you have to spend every dayum minute together. It was cute for me in week one, by week three I was already giving the side eye to my partner cause I felt they were breathing too loud. It was loud, btw.
You’ve taken time to watch the TV show you wanted, a walk outside alone, or an extra long bath–take time to masturbate. This could feel like it’s going to be an awkward conversation, but it doesn’t have to be. One of the things I’ve been preaching to couples is that this quarantine is the perfect time to be vulnerable with each other and have some good good convos about intimacy. Masturbation can be one of them.
I mean, you both probably know you are both doing it but just never talked about it. Let your partner know that you need this time to masturbate AND it has nothing to do with the sexual relationship between you two. They might think…WTF I’m right here! Let them know that masturbation is an important part of your self care and need it more than ever now to feel good and recharge. That masturbation and sex can actually serve two different purposes.Throw in that when you’re stressed out your sex drive is really low and masturbating actually helps you want to have sex with them more. That one could really put them on #teammasturbation LOL! These are my reasons, yours could be different. The important thing is to express it in a way that shows it’s about you not about your relationship .
2. Set up some alone time rules.
Ok you’ve explained the why, now the how. Did you ever think you needed rules to rub one out? Try these out.
- Set a schedule of time blocks to give you private alone time.
- Lock doors as a sign you need to be left alone.
- If locked doors feels uncomfortable, hanging some symbol on the door knob to signal you need some space. Think back to hanging the sock on your college dorm room.
- Permission to take extra long showers. Try a waterproof toy like the Waterproof Massager with Silicone Sleeves to make things interesting!
- Look for new spaces in your home to masturbate besides the bedroom.
3. Get the right supplies.
You might be used to taking a long leisurely trip around your body masturbating. Think marathon sex but by yourself! What if you only have a good 15 minutes while your partner is in the shower? Efficiency is going to count!! You could warm yourself up by reading some erotica or watching whatever it is that turns you on, no judgement. By the time you get to the actual get down you’re aroused and your fingers or your toy don’t have that much further to go.
Use lube. I know I’m not always at my most juiciest point right at the beginning of a masturbation session. Shoving a large dildo in an unlubricated pussy isn’t gonna do you any favors, trust me. Try Sliquid Sassy water-based lube. Lube isn’t just for women either. Fellas, put away the lotion and jerk off like a pro. Lube will make everything slick and last a lot longer. Try my favorite silicone lube Uberlube. It’s lasts a long time and will have your dick feelin all smoothe.
Now that we have the lube part straight, think about noise. Not you per se, but maybe keep the moaning down lol. I’m talking about what you’re using during the session. If you watch porn while you self pleasure break out the headphones.
In addtion to warming yourself up so you get to the Big O faster, using a toy that you know takes you there faster could be clutch. For vulva owners, the Clitoral Suction Stimulators are going to give you fast orgasms. If you’ve never used one, gurrrllllla, you’re missing out. You can check out the article I wrote about them specifically HERE. Right now my favorite is the Womanizer Duo. This toy is everything!
Those with a penis might be having carpal tunnel like symptoms by now lol. Give your hand a break and try a masturbator. Our most popular masturbators are the Fleshlight brand . Comes in butt or pussy, whichever opening that tickles your fancy.
4. Put them in the game!!
One thing I absolutely love is watching my partner masturbate. I know from talking to others it ain’t just me. Something about watching them please themselves turns me all the way on! You could invite your partner to watch you or ask if you can watch them. It also gives you a bird eyes view to what turns them on and how they like to be pleased.
Mutual masturbation. You could have your masturbation and eat your cake too! Imagine your own personal porn scene. Well, that’s what I think of. It’s a super intimate activity without actually having penetrative sex. Really good for when you want to orgasm with your partner but feeling lazy lol. Mutual masturbation can also lead to your partner to be more comfortable talking about self pleasue and your sex life in general. Win win.
Leave me a comment and let me know if you’ve tried any of these or have any questions about masturbating during this quarantine thang.