One day try going up to a group of hetero cis men (straight men that were assigned the gender male at birth) and ask if they have tried/like pegging, getting their salads tossed, rimming, or receiving a finger and the room will go so silent you can hear a mouse piss on cotton. If someone told me to try “xyz”…it would give me one of the most amazing orgasms I would ever have, I’d try it. Well let me rephrase, as long as it was legal and involved non  minor humans, I’d try it. I’d try it twice just to make sure lol. So why wouldn’t a man decide to exercise his P-spot for an orgasm. Seriously though, a man’s anus and rectum are full of nerve endings, just like the penis. The rectum is also home to the prostate gland, another pleasure center. In fact, men can have an orgasm from stimulation of the prostate gland alone—something a lot of hetero cis gen men don’t know. Anal play feels great on its own, and can lead to unbelievably intense orgasms. We’ll be talking about the P-spot more but from now on the prostate will be called the P-spot. Even though the stigma attached to a lot of men’s asses would never have them even mutter the phrase, we’re going to use it.

I’ve heard:

“A woman should be suspicious of a man who get turned on by being penetrated.”

“’s a gateway drug to gay.”

“It’s gay there’s no discussion.”

So let’s ponder something……..if “anal” is gay then when a hetero cis gen man sticks his dick up a woman’s ass that should evoke some sort of gay feelings too?

Things that make you go hmm..

But we’re going to skip over that……

In another life I was a fem dom.

If you’re unfamiliar with the term it’s short for female dominance. The woman is the dominant partner or top partner. I imagine myself in stilettos, with a flogger in hand, and a tight black corset making my titties sit up all perky. I always imagine myself with perky titties in fictional situations! But in this fantasy I’m also wearing a harness and pegging my partner. He’s holding his legs up  or positioned doggie style. And guess what…..he’s loving it! Interestingly enough this partner in my head is always Caucasian. Not that I believe that all Caucasian men enjoy being pegged, but in my times working in our store those are the only ones inquiring about it. Sometimes with their woman partner in tow.

Why have I never encountered any black men inquiring about anal play? Maybe a great number don’t come into adult stores asking for help picking out products? Perhaps they buy their items online? Perhaps it’s these silly man laws that make them feel like they’d have to turn in their “Man Card” if they tried it? Who knows? Anywho….back to me.

I did have a stab at it before.

He kind of mentioned it slightly, gauging my reaction. I already knew where this was going. I thought to myself, he wants me to lick his butt!!! I was down for the cause! Little did I know he was open to more. When I had a clue that he might be down for more than a licking anal play I made sure I prepped. I was younger then and didn’t fully understand how lube could take sex to a whole ‘nother level, but knew it could be necessary for me to get up in his ass. Yes, you need a good lube. My pick is always Uberlube for anal. So I picked up some lube for my nightstand and also clipped my nails. I’m not trying to hurt the poor man LOL. I feel like homophobic cis gendered men need to have a lot going on to force the homoerotic thoughts out of their head. You have to tag team the dick and the ass! I started off with oral sex, then moved into licking their taint (perineum), moving back to oral sex, only then when they were in bliss I started with the finger. You know how guys do that move where they distract you during the arousal process and slip on the condom…..that’s how I unnoticeably got the lube open and on my finger. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander!

Let’s look at how the male anatomy is set up so it all makes sense.

Massaging the P-spot
Massaging the Prostate

So let’s imagine that instead of a big man hand that’s a woman’s cute dainty hand. (I understand how this pic isn’t helping my case of it being non gay but I couldn’t find any with a woman’s hand…work with me.)

Ok, back to my story. While performing oral sex I performed the “come hither” motion associated with the G-spot, I used the same motion to massage the P-spot.

It. Sent. Him. Wild.

Really! Moaning, eyes rolling back in his head, and shot the biggest load I’ve ever seen. I felt like I was in a hot ass PornHub scene. Unfortunately, that was our first and last anal play encounter. We never even discussed it again. I don’t even think he mentioned the word ass for the remainder or the time we dated. I just summed it up to him being embarrassed for being so vulnerable, allowing me to witness him letting his inibitions fly away in the wind.

My pseudo fem dom career was over as fast as it had begun.

But ladies you can start yours! Fellas, you can get into receiving anal play and not be embarrased for wanting to try it. Here are a few great items to help you on your Anal Play journey finding the P-spot.

I love the Rio because even though I’m not a big anal girl this one is small, made of soft silicone, and vibrates so it will relax your sphincter muscles. Nothing’s worse than being tense trying something anal.

Another vibrating sex toy is the Diver. It’s specifically designed with an angled tickler to stimulate the prostate. It also gets kudos for being completly submerssible.

Maybe this is selfish pleasure toy pick of mine because this is great for people with prostates AND vaginas! Or either one. The Pure Wand makes me feel like I’m using a big girl toy. Just the sheer weight of the Pure Wand is amazing.  The curvature of this dildo makes it easier to find the G-spot or P-spot. Also it’s made of a medical grade stainless steel, perfect for anal since stainless steel toys are so easy to clean and non porous.

A good silicone lube is a must. Without a doubt Uberlube is the way to go and my favorite by far.

Lastly for the adventurous folk this harness and dong combination is great for pegging. And since it’s totally made out of silicone it’s easy to clean. Hey, anal possibly can get a lil messy.

Speaking of messy, let me throw in this anal cleaner. It’s better to be prepared for surprise anal than be surprised by what you ate for lunch lol



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