So how did such a hush-hush topic receive a whole month? It started in 1995 by a sex toy shop in San Francisco and we’re so glad it did! Even though it’s such a taboo subject, masturbation is healthy, pleasurable, and a normal part of human sexuality. Shoot…..I’m a fan!! Jerking off, spanking the monkey, choking the chicken (where did all the animal references come from? lol), or my favorite- rubbing one out are some of the names people call the act. What do like to refer to your moments of self pleasure?  Lets dig into this grand topic!

Some people do it a little, a lot, or not at all. It doesn’t matter how often you masturbate. With all the crazy, upsetting, and mind-boggling things going on in the world today we need some time to Wooo-sah. I don’t meditate but I feel masturbation gives me the same end result. Some of the benefits for me include stress relief, release of sexual tension, helps me sleep better, and also helps me learn my body better. As time changes and I get older, the big 4-0 is quickly approaching…sigh, how I like to be pleased changes. While masturbating I learn helpful pointers to give to my partner so they can have a road map of what they can do to make our sex life more satisfying for me. For example, how much pressure is needed on my vulva, how fast or slow, and where exactly to focus to bring me to ecstasy I learned by masturbation.

For me, rubbing one out can be an elaborate adventure with candles, wine, and a hot bath or it can be something quick just for that quick O. There’s so many decisions before masturbating. Am I going to use sex toys? Watch porn? Read an erotic story to get in the mood? Use lube? Decisions, decisions, decisions lol! I can’t say I have a preference in methods, just depends on what I’m in the mood for that day. My choice of toys also changes depending on my mood. If I want to enjoy a more long lasting session my favorite pleasure toy is the Caress. I like the teasing effect the silicone nubbies have on all parts of my vulva. My fastest orgasm machine is definitely the Womanizer Pro 40. The feeling of the bursts of air surrounding my clit are mind blowing and I’m not lasting more than 3 minutes. Whew! I felt a little tingly just thinking about it lol.

Years ago I used to think only men used lube while masturbating. So not the case. The pleasure I receive from a particular sex toy can change just by adding a little lube into the mix. Most of the quality toys nowadays are made of silicone so always use a water based lubricant with these. My favorite lube for use with toys is Sliquid’s 100% natural water based lube. You can find it here. A crowd favorite for folks with penises is also my favorite lube for intercourse, Uberlube. It’s long lasting and super conditioning. It’ll have a penis feeling like silk afterward lol.

For some masturbation can be a taboo topic to discuss with your partner. Some partners might feel intimidated or jealous of you masturbating. While it’s important to listen to your partner’s concern never let anyone shame you about masturbating!! Regulating how often or if you do it at all is totally unfair and shouldn’t be tolerated. I know I could never allow myself to deny myself healthy harmless pleasure! If you’re a person that takes issue with your partner masturbating communication is going to be first priority. Use “I” statements to get your point across instead of blaming your partner for your feelings. Try saying, “I feel kinda left out when you masturbate. Is there a way I can join you sometimes?” It might not solve your problems but it would be a great first step in figuring out a solution, if possible.

Speaking of partners, masturbation doesn’t have to be a solo sport. Mutual masturbation or performing for your partner can be soooooo erotic! I feel like I’m in a real live porn scene when my partner and I do either. Watching my partner please themselves also gives me an insider’s view of what they enjoy to bring them to climax. Win win!!

Whatever method you choose, how many times a week you do it, with or without a partner my favorite perk of masturbation is that it’s 100% safe and no risks of pregnancy or STIs! Gotta love that!

Here are some tips to help you end this Month of Self Pleasure with a bang!

  • Get in the mood- Light a few candles, take a bath, apply some smell goods. Turn yourself on!
  • Try different body positions- Lay on your side, stand up, use pillows, and try different angles
  • Use lube- Cuts down and friction and can make masturbation more pleasurable
  • Show off- Masturbating for a partner can be highly erotic
  • Whip out a toy- Hands are great but why not spice it up with yourself!