I love sex toys and had been using them solo for quite some time before ever trying them with a partner. But using them with another person is awesome! You’re more likely to have multiple orgasms or an orgasm at all (for those that struggle to climax from penetrative sex like myself), they encourage you to try new positions, and they just force you to have hotter sex!! Yaaaaaaaas!! One of the things that stopped me from bringing them out earlier than I did was fear of having an awkward conversation. How would I go about having this talk without them feeling inadequate or having their ego bruised? I finally bit the bullet and brought the topic up. It was a little rocky at first but eventually I got a smile and it was on land poppin!! So that you don’t make the same mistakes I did in my first conversation I’ve laid out some tips.
Make the Conversation about both of you
You don’t want to lead with this type of sentence….”I want to bring sex toys into the bedroom so I can orgasm”. Nope, that’s not going to make anyone feel good. Listen to this…..”I think it would be really hot if you used this vibrator on me.” Big difference. The second sentence is making it more about the expierience and less about your partner’s abilities in the bedroom. You want to make this conversation as positive as possible. Speak of the highlights of your sex life currently and how toys could enhance it. Keep the conversation playful leading your partner to fill with anticipation.
Maybe you don’t feel comfortable going full in sex toy talk off the break. No worries, there’s other avenues to use to arrive at the topic. You could bring up that you saw something interesting on FB or IG. You might have seen our latest episode of #Humpdaywiththeharts (Every Wed live at 9P EST on IG @hartsdesires) and mention some things you saw and ask if they’d be interested.
Since we live in a digital age, you could send them an email. The blog post The Couple that Plays Together Stays Together would be great to send with a Subject line “What do you think about this?”
Games are also a fun way of introducing pleasure toys. We enjoy the game 4Play which is made of four different games. The card game portion of the game would be perfect. In Foreplay Fortune, you and your lover use cards to act out sexual fantasies. Sounds like an in to me!
Now that you’ve had the talk bring out the right toys
Onto the good part….full steam ahead! Wait. You don’t want to whip out a 12″ dildo talking about Let’s try this honey!! For that matter let’s stay away from phallic toys at first, especially if your partner is a man. Remember, we don’t want to intimidate them. We also don’t want to bring out any very large or complicated toys out the gate. Small vibrators and couple toys that involve both partners are great choices. Some suggestions to try are the Palm Power Wand, The Vedo Bam bullet, Eva which is a great clitoral stimulator, and the Caress which I love for foreplay.
Now that you’re armed with the tools to succeed go out and be sexy my friends!! And report back, I’m nosy lol.